Winning Chapter of the Become Hooked ‘First Chapter’ Contest 2021

—written by Elisa Menz, pen name Mayaserana. First chapter of her novel Easy Guide to Escape Hell.

Author’s website:

Bloody allegiances

Dagon Gunthersson, captain of the demonic forces of the Third Ring, conqueror of the Plains of Ghouls, son of Gunther the Nightmare, and heir to the Glowing Deeps, was on his knees. His ragged breaths rattled over the infernal clamor of the dwindling battle, as his eyes widened at the massacre.

His commander had sent his forces to ward off an invasion to Erehwon, no-man’s-land. The barren territory at the edge of Hell where a thousand battles had been fought back in the day, when the forces of Heaven sought to invade their realm. Erewhon was a desolate place where demons barely stayed, and no angel nor human had set foot since ancient times.

There had been no invaders in centuries, ever since the passageways between Hell and Earth had been sealed.

Based on the vague reports Dagon received, human scouts had crossed the border and sought to reach the capital. He had never fought humans in his life, but the stories of old portrayed them as weak, worthless creatures. Which was why Dagon couldn’t understand the reason behind the slaughter. Of the two hundred elite demon warriors he took with him, none survived. His wounded body threatened to collapse any minute.

Mere inches from the tip of his boots, a pair of pitch-black eyes looked towards the gray sky, lifeless.

Carrion was dead. His second in command, his right hand. His friend. After an excruciating clash with an unknown, powerful enemy, he had fallen to their blade. His severed head now lay on the arid soil of Erehwon.

Dagon lifted his gaze, clouded by the blood pouring from a deep cut under his right horn. He sensed his enemies closing in on him, and for the first time, he saw them without the cloaks of illusion. He let out a pained chuckle, loaded with contempt. Dark ashes fluttered around in the breeze while across the battlefield—littered with the mutilated corpses of his comrades—an eerie silence fell.

No human could do this.

After almost a millennium, angels had found their way into the hidden frontier. And it took only twelve of their filthy kind to send his glorious battalion into oblivion.

The twelve drew near, spreading their wings and staring down with emotionless eyes. If they hated him as much as he hated them, their hollow stares showed no sign of it.

Dagon sneered and coughed up blood before raising his head to look at them. “Didn’t mamma tell you not to play with your food?” His voice came out ragged with the pain in his chest. Blood gushed from a deep cut and every breath made him wince. Broken ribs. He thought. Still, he wouldn’t submit to pain or fear like a puny devil. Instead, he spat at their feet and curled his lips into a disrespectful smirk.

“How did you get here?” Dagon said. “King Lucifer got rid of you scum long before my great-grandfather was born.” Angels have always been a part of Hell’s history. Elders told tales of warriors of such might, it challenged the imagination. But that’s all they were for Dagon; ghosts of a forgone past who would no longer mar Hell’s landscapes with greed and bloodthirst. To see the carnage they were capable of with his own eyes, shook him to his core.

The angel leading the others smirked. “Dead things don’t get to ask questions.” He frowned, raising a shining sword and cutting through the unbreathable air.

There was still life in Dagon’s body. He was of noble blood, a lord among demons; he would not fall to the likes of them without spilling their blood first. Drawing strength, he parried the blow, pushing back to destabilize the angel while scattering the others. He roared and thrust forward with precise, potent attacks.

Dagon’s assault became frantic, and the angel—too preoccupied with blocking the hits and with no space to counteract—lost ground.

Numbness took over Dagon’s fingers, the strength behind his arm fueled by anger. He had been deceived. There was no way in Hell these angels had crossed a passage and reached so far undetected. Someone had betrayed him, and the least he could do to avenge his fallen soldiers was to take one of those wretched, self-righteous bastards down.

With a mighty kick to its stomach, Dagon sent the angel sprawling on the ground. The golden warrior gasped for air as his mask of composure shattered, betraying his unease. Blond locks stuck to his forehead, drenched in sweat as his breath quickened. If the angel expected an easy kill, he had something else coming.

Weighed down by exhaustion and the grinding pain, Dagon staggered, loosening the grip on his sword. Frazzled, he looked down at the angel and bared his teeth in a maniacal grin. “You don’t kill my people and expect to leave with perfect hair.” His jaw tensed and his taut muscles shifted under his armor, preparing to finish his task.

However, the others were not about to sit and wait for him to kill one of their own. Dagon sensed the angels closing in on him, eleven against one. Damn cowards! He wouldn’t fall before claiming his revenge.

Gathering his energy, Dagon shaped a blazing whip from an ember burning close by and lashed it at the angels, hitting their faces and bodies. With no time to relish in their screams, Dagon jumped in the air, brandishing his sword, and in one strike he pierced the fallen angel’s chest.

His opponent froze; bright blue eyes wide in disbelief as a desperate gasp left his lips. With a firm flick of his wrists, Dagon pushed the blade deeper and twisted it. The sickening sound of tearing flesh fueled the anger that consumed him.

The angel’s broken body fell to the ground and Dagon staggered as the ground swayed under his feet. His clouded eyes searched for the horizon, away from the corpses scattered on the field, and from Carrion’s void stare. All Dagon could glimpse was the chipped bark of the dying trees and the wisps of smoke concealing the vastness of Erehwon. His head leaned loosely to the side and Dagon closed his eyes, exhausted.

The others charged once more.

A life of fighting, killing, and the never-ending search for glory was about to go out and yet, he felt relieved. In his last moments, he thought of his father; how he was never enough of a soldier, enough of a demon for him. At least I won’t disappoint you anymore, father. His thoughts quieted when the wind shifted behind him, and the blades’ metallic chant ringed through the silence. Dagon took a deep breath and lifted his arms to his sides, dropping his sword.

A ghostly hand gripped inside his chest, and Dagon hollered in pain. Startled by his reaction and the sudden heaviness in the air, the angels hesitated.

There were stories—told by old soldiers—of this power. Desperate, Dagon tugged at his armor to ease the pressure, to no avail. This was the first time he experienced it himself, yet his excitement faded when he gasped for breath. “Father!” he yelled, fearing he might lose consciousness.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dagon saw movement. The angels drew nearer, but before they could reach him, a powerful pull lifted him off the ground and forced them to recoil. The wind blasted in his ears while his stomach churned as he left the battlefield behind. Startled as he was, Dagon knew exactly where he was heading.

After long, agonizing minutes, his body slammed against the sharp cobblestones. Shaking his head from the daze, the familiar sight of his home appeared before him. The courtyard of his family fortress, the Glowing Deeps; gray and unwelcoming in the twilight. He also noticed he was not alone. Threatening spears surrounded him, his father’s guard pinning him down on the ground. Among them, the tall, menacing figure of the man who had raised him stared down in anger. Dagon had grown used to this look since it seemed to be ingrained in his father’s face ever since he was born.

For an endless moment, no emotion crossed Gunther’s face. Only the dark bags under his sunken eyes, and the rhythmic movement of his chest—taking in long, agonizing breaths—showed Dagon how much energy his father had spent summoning him. “Dagon,” he grunted.

“Father…” Dagon struggled to stand up, only to be seized by two guards. “I… I didn’t expect you to rescue me. How—?”

“Shut your mouth! I summoned you here because of your crimes!”

Dagon frowned. “What crimes… are you talking about?” His father was livid. Gunther had never used his summoning ability to save him from harm before. It was powerful magic, draining and dangerous, so something else must have forced him to spend so much energy.

“I’m not in the mood for your games, runt! You have put the honorable name of this family to shame for the last time. You are a disgrace! To abandon your soldiers, leaving them to die by the hand of filthy humans, is the ultimate shame!”

It made no sense, but there was no doubt his father believed in what he said. The veins in his temples bulged and his bright red eyes—so much like his own—flamed with rage.

“Father… I didn’t—” Gunther silenced him with a hard jab. Dagon spat blood on the stones; hurt, but mostly rattled. This was so like his father, never one to listen. “I did not abandon my people!” The crimes he was being accused of were a lie, but when he tried to get closer, the guards held him. Still badly wounded, Dagon could do nothing more than shout at Gunther. “We received insufficient information. We were supposed to fight human exorcists, not angels!”

His father scoffed. “Lie all you want, boy. I already heard the truth from your commander.”

“What…?” How could that be possible? The battle wasn’t even over when his father summoned him. Commander Ghalore couldn’t have reached the battlefield and assessed it before meeting with him.

The demon in question chose that precise moment to make his appearance. From the shadows, he emerged—short, hesitant steps and a doleful expression. Unlike Dagon, Commander Caius Ghalore had the unmistakable bearing of a well-bred demon lord. His lanky frame rose high above his guards and yet failed to be imposing. Long, elegant drapes covered every inch of his pale skin, and a thick coat of white powder hid the wrinkles on his face, along with other unnatural tricks to mask his true age.

Despite his youthful appearance, Ghalore was no fledgling demon.

When Dagon’s father had barely reached adulthood, Ghalore’s ascension through the intricate net of King Lucifer’s court began. He now amassed titles, lands, and riches, making him one of the most powerful demons in Hell, and bearer of the grandiose title of Commander Supreme of His Majesty’s armies. A power he wielded with misleading frailness and unbridled cruelty.

A dejected grimace twisted Ghalore’s face as his silver eyes found Dagon. “My dearest boy… Your cowardice breaks my heart.”

Dagon never fully trusted Ghalore, but he was his superior. Raised a soldier, he followed orders without question, whether he liked them or not. Whether they made sense or not. Holding his breath, Dagon watched as his commander joined his father, the fine silk of his clothes shining under the fading daylight and the burning torches. Dagon studied him, trying to understand the reasons behind his deceit. This was not a mistake, Ghalore was deliberately lying.

“Tsk, tsk… What a shame. It’s never a pleasurable day when you must execute a traitor.” Ghalore’s honeyed voice made his skin crawl. “And you showed so much promise, Gunthersson. I simply cannot understand your motives. How unfortunate for your family, to have their line end in such a disgraceful manner.”

His meaning dripped venom through the doleful words, and the occasional glint of amusement slipped behind his carefully practiced mask. In a blink, the pity disappeared, as if it was never there. Ghalore wasn’t even trying to hide his hostility, but his father remained blind to it.

“I will take him now, Gunther. There’s no need for you to suffer his presence any further. We will execute him and toss his body into the Eternal Fire.”

“Why did you lie to me, Ghalore? Why did my men have to die? Was it you who betrayed us to the angels?” Dagon yelled, struggling with the guard’s grip.

Ghalore frowned and tilted his head. “Angels, Dagon? I can’t believe your father raised you so ignorant.” He crossed his hands over his chest, a condescending smile grazing his lips. “There have been no angel invasions for thousands of years, dear child. Please spare your father the shame and stop lying.”

Dagon thrashed against his captors and his ribs protested at the effort. “If you wanted me dead, traitor, you should have taken only my life! My battalion deserved better!”

A dangerous look crossed Ghalore’s face before he shrugged off the angry accusation. Ghalore had fed his father lies and held control over Dagon’s fate. Already a failure in his father’s eyes, Dagon expected no help from him, so Ghalore had but to tighten the noose. “Don’t test my patience, boy. Your execution will be swift only in deference to your father, but if I hear one more word from you—”

“No…” Gunther had remained silent since Ghalore’s arrival, but he now spoke in a low, pained voice. “You will not kill him.”

A speck of hope found its way into Dagon, watching the impassible face of the man he had failed to make proud his entire life. His father turned to his own guard, taking a blade from him, before facing his only son. His face looked carved into stone. “I will deliver this punishment. It’s my responsibility.”

Astonished, Dagon watched the soldiers parting before him, the sinister smile on Ghalore’s face, and the shining blade that came to collect his life. The guards pushed him to his knees, helpless.

There was no reason to fight anymore. Gunther had broken Dagon’s hardened heart since he was a child, and one more disfavor from his father wouldn’t kill him. Dagon almost chuckled. I guess it will.

No way to cheat death twice in one day. He closed his eyes, yearning for the final rest. He had nothing. No love or righteous pursuit filled his heart, and Dagon thought perhaps it was better this way.

A reverent silence fell on the courtyard when Gunther raised his sword to cut off his head. Dagon bowed, the will to fight gone. And as the sword fell, he felt it.

For the second time that day.

The powerful pull of a foreign force tugged at his chest and took him away with astounding speed. Within two blinks Dagon saw his father fall on his back, and startled soldiers scrambling out of the way before he lost all sense of space and time.

He traveled far, a lot farther than he had ever been before, and the world blurred around him. His body shook and twirled by the force of the wind hitting like a wall. Dagon broke through dirt and rocks; the sharp edges lacerated his skin. When the stinging pain of broken ribs made him scream, his mouth filled with dirt, suffocating him.

After what felt like an eternity, he fell once more against a sturdy floor. Only this time, a dusty rug covered it.

Pain consumed him, pinning him down as he lay immobile, gasping and trying to avoid further damage. As far as he could tell, he was alone, and there was nothing familiar about the dark and grimy corridor he was in. Dagon coughed, flinching at the sensation of broken bones all over. It would take weeks to recover, but he first needed to make sure he would have the time and a safe place to rest.

A frightened voice interrupted his schemes. “I-I’m so… so sorry, my lord!”

Dagon looked around, failing to see the pitiful voice owner. “Show yourself!” he said, his voice rough. He was not in the mood for more menaces.

From the shadows of the corridor, a pathetic creature emerged. A wobbly gargoyle. A lesser demon, dressed in rags and of humble bearing, stared at him in utter terror. “I d-do… do not mean any… disrespect, my lord!” He shivered under Dagon’s severe look. “I brought you here because I sensed you needed help. I didn’t know who you were!”

Dagon sat, grunting and aching everywhere. The demon moved towards him—seeing his discomfort—but as soon as Dagon pinned him with a glare, he recoiled.

“I’m sorry! I… I can help you, even if I’m not worthy of being close to you. You need to heal, and I can… can help you, my lord.”

Slowly, Dagon’s senses came back to him. They were in an old, abandoned house, and the presence of demons—hundreds—hiding in the dark nagged at his acute senses. He turned to the one closest to him. “You brought me here? How?”

The creature smiled sheepishly. “It’s my power, sir. The only magic I’m good at. I sense when demons are about to be unjustly executed, and I extract them.” Proud of his ability, the creature’s voice raised into a cheerful squeal. And remarkably, a sickly-looking gargoyle bore the same power his father did, although this fellow looked about to collapse from exhaustion.

His words made Dagon squint. “Extract them?”

“Yes! I bring them here, to our sanctuary. We are safe here. Hidden and protected. Humans don’t come close anymore.”

A sanctuary? How fortunate. Dagon couldn’t believe his luck. So at least this creature believes I’m worth saving. He thought, while the rest of the gargoyle’s words filtered in his mind. “Wait… what do you mean… humans don’t come…?”

The little demon shrank, avoiding his gaze. “Well… you see, in Hell… they could easily find us… so…”

Dagon’s patience wavered. “So?”

He flinched. “Ah! Well… I bring you here! Where we are safe and far away…”

Dagon almost dreaded his next words.

“The… human world.”

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